My First Night

At the Hospital
My wife and I sat quietly talking as we waited for a doctor.  We had checked into St. Vincent's Hospital in Melbourne (recommended by the doctor who had called earlier that evening with my results).  After a short while a young woman came in and introduced herself only as Anne.

"Do you know why you are here?" She asked.
"I have a pretty good idea, I think." I replied,   "But please level with me, Anne. Exactly what am I up against?"
"Honestly?" She paused. "We can probably keep you alive, without treatment, for about three months. You can hardly walk now, so it won't be long before you are completely bed ridden.  It won't be long after that that you are unable to do much for yourself..."

Some silence.

"And what if I do have treatment?"
"Then, at least, you stand a chance."

Anne explained to me what I had.  She told me that they would do a bone marrow biopsy to determine exactly which type of leukaemia I had, and that as soon as they knew they would discuss with me which treatment would be best.  She explained that I would certainly have chemotherapy, that usually there were about three initial treatments after which a patient would typically undergo maintenance treatments for the rest of their lives.  We discussed everything.
I was tireless in my thirst for understanding. I needed to know exactly what I was facing.  Anne answered my questions patiently and honestly.  She told me what she knew, and what there were no answers for.  When she finally left the room, I understood what lay ahead. I knew the challenge. And I had a pretty good idea of the odds.

My Wake Up Call
I didn't sleep much that night. My wife and I talked and cried together.  I went through all I had done, and all I still wanted to do.  I have always believed that we create our own paths in life.  We are responsible for what we go through, and how we deal with it.  I am sure that we each have a purpose- something to give, something that only we uniquely can bring to this reality.  I had been asleep, dreaming of wonderful green fields, and sunny days. Life was passing me by.  It was time to wake up and test the strength of my own principles.
And this was Life's way of saying "Good Morning, this is your wake up call!"

In the early hours of Tuesday morning I lay staring out the hospital window.  Outside there was a world that I wanted to be a part of.  There was writing all the stories which lay in my bottom draw or locked up in my mind; there was being a husband, and a father; there was growing old and seeing new places - far too much to do for this to be any more than a minor setback on my journey. 

As I watched the city sleep, I made a decision: I committed to myself that I would take control of my life.  I  would never give up control of my future again. I had much, too much, to give to the world.  I was the only person who could navigate this ship on the seas of my life, to finally arrive at the unexplored shores of my future.

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