During 2003...
During 2002...
During 2001...
During 2000...
Window on my Life
  Last update:  May 2010

Why am I so unhappy?

After a lifetime of struggling with myself, and trying to make sense of the life I am choosing, I still lack any real understanding about it all. 

Am I really making a difference?

On the surface, I have everything. A wonderful family, a successful career, a house up in the hills, my health ... hey, I even drive a Porsche!  I have been diving on the Great Barrier Reef, drifting a supercar at the edge of it's capability onto the main straight at Philip Island, I have travelled to 32 countries across the globe.  I have seen and done so much.  And yet...

My marriage is frustratingly hard work, my career seems to make no real difference 'out there', the house in the hills is a money pit in maintenance, I still wake up every day looking for the signs of leukaemia - 8 years on, and the car... well it costs me a bundle, and I wonder whether I am not being prudent with my money in the long term.

Perhaps it is just a matter of perspective.  Perhaps I should just go out every day, telling myself to stop worrying and get on with whatever it is I wish to do. 

But, then, am I really doing what I wish to do?

What is this gaping hole in my life I cannot seem to fill?  What the hell is it that nags at me when I am really happy?  What has it's hand around my heart, squeezing until it aches?

Why is there still such an emptiness? 

What have I not yet done?

All intellectual property on this site is owned by Kevin Ross unless otherwise stated.  Use of this information is restricted, and illegal unless express permission is given by the owner.