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So often we leave our fate in the hands of others.
I'm not sure whether I believe in destiny. I don't know whether our paths are planned for us, and life is the simple process of consciously remembering this or whether
we get up and go out each day to randomly create the next day. Well... actually, I do have my own thoughts... but that's for another time.
Jacqui landed in South Africa about four days after I got back. She had changed her plans and called me from London to say she was on her way. She did that for me? All
her plans to visit longer in London and the United States, all the effort to reschedule her flights, change her holiday plans, rework her leave of absence.... wow! Perhaps she found the same thing I did.
I emigrated to Australia to be with Jacqui in April 1994. We were married on 28 May 1994.
But, by 1995 I was back to square one. No, Jacqui didn't leave me, although I had made it impossible for her to live with me. No, by May of
1995 I had finally created something that was to be the beginning of a whole new journey... I had killed myself.
Over the years I had systematically ignored every cry from my Soul, every
warning from my inner being, every omen along my path. I had created this spiral of discontent, disillusionment, frustration, searching, disappointment, blame and anger. No matter what I touched... no
matter where I was or who I was with... the same set of circumstances kept being created around me.. again and again and again! There was only one conclusion...
IT WAS ME!!!
It was me. I was the one creating these circumstances. I was the one who could break the cycle.
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